Yesterday’s weather was almost a metaphor for how I could have ended up feeling – cold, wet, gray, – blah.
The kind of day where the phone company (and I’m sorry but communications company is a complete oxymoron) debits your account twice for hundreds of euros … clients change dates and you have to replan and do the domino effect of rescheduling with other clients and friends … you know the kind of day.
The kind of day where – if you’re not really careful – you can find your mood plummeting. Suddenly, it’s not just the phone company but your whole life that’s driving you crazy.
What did I do? Well, I usually allow myself some time and space to feel the blah.
Then I’ll do a number of things both internal and external to move out of the blahs – cause wallowing ain’t my best look.
Move it – I just get up and move around, go outside, have a wander. Physically moving myself just frees me up from any stuck kind of energy (and feelings are just another form of energy).
Sort it – If there’s something I can do to deal with the situation that’s blahing me – then I do it. If it’s out of my control then I tell myself to stop dwelling on it and let it go. We all can tend to focus our attention, time and energy on things we have no control over (the weather; wanting an efficient telephone company) and not on the things that we can influence and control – like our attitude and our actions.
Filter it – We’re all really clever at filtering in information that supports our ideas/feeling/point of view – and –filtering out information that doesn’t. When I start to feel the blahs I not only allow myself some time and space to feel them, I also give myself the same amount of time and space to filter in other information that helps me move out of the blahs – e.g. it won’t be raining forever; you’ll sort the phone company out; life’s pretty damn good. I consciously choose to move myself from the blahs to a more content state of mind because I know how easy it can be to literally fall into a pit of blahdom – to only filter in information that proves the world is a pile of elephant dung.
Focus it – Use the blahs to focus on what’s important in your life – or even just that day. Know that you have the power to create a sense of perspective. In my blah state yesterday I spent a few minutes remembering all the great things in my life (I’m healthy; great family and friends; interesting businesses; gorgeous town I live in; ….) and I began to feel better. I moved the lens from the things that were annoying/unsettling me to the things that are at the foundation of my life. I dealt with things I could deal with – and let go of those I couldn’t. I’m very careful not to allow things to gain a greater importance than they should have – to exaggerate the blahs.
Light it – I love Ireland and the town of Ballinamore that I live in but the winter can be dark and damp. To move the darkness away (both the outside stuff and the inside blahs) I lit the fire and all the lamps in the house and brought out books that had great images in them. I created a little feast of warmth, light and vision that calmed me.
Did I end the day singing and dancing around the room? Nope. I did move from the blahs into contentment and a sense of calm. I ended the day quite happily cooking and then reading -and wasn’t even phased when I saw that the water bottle had leaked all over the bed (and yeah – if I’d stayed in the blah state, that would have been one more piece of information to ‘prove’ that life was shitty.). And at 6pm, one of my 6 year old neighbours knocked on the door for an impromptu visit. We chatted by the fire then I got the arts box I’ve created out and we painted together for an hour. Lovely.
You see, sometimes it’s not the really big things that can get to us (although they can) – it’s the trickle of the day to day irritations that can trigger blah states. I try my best to be conscious of when the trickles are affecting me – I pay attention to myself and how I’m feeling/reacting – and then I do what I can to move myself out of blahs and into ahhhs.
I woke this morning and the sun was shining and the telephone company was still working in another reality and there were things that arose that irritated me – and – as soon as I felt them I went back and used a few of the tools I mentioned above. I did my work and then took myself out into the sunshine to wander the main street of Ballinamore and stop in for pleasant chats with shopkeepers. I responded to queries from people about Life Dreaming (by the way – my national radio interview last Saturday went really well and they want me back to chat again) and organised appointments with clients. I wrote a clear letter to both my phone companies about their service. Basically, I did what I could externally, stayed calm internally (even got a bit excited about some really interesting work with 3 new clients) and I’m just fine.
On a completely different topic – Thanks to everyone who wanders in to my blog. It’s only a baby newbie blog but the fact that up to 50 or 60 people have a read of it some days give me a real sense of … pleasure and curiousity. I’ve had some lovely emails from people and it does my heart and mind good to know that something I’m writing actually has an effect on people. Thanks.
So folks – when you fell the blahs coming on you – give them a little space (even hug them close for a wee while) – and then move them on. Here’s to more aaaah moments.