I woke yesterday and felt a bit blah blah.
I’ve been feeling a bit that way for a while now … and I know that part of it has to do with not having paid contracts and a tight cash flow.
I’m financially poor at the moment… and it’s been like that for over a year.
I was also getting really really bored with myself … and my cottage was just getting more untidy… all part of the blah blahs.
It was as if my home was starting to reflect some inner untidiness and lethargy that was building in me.
That’s both the good and bad of being as introspective as I am … I can’t hide from myself for too long … and … I promised myself a long time ago that I would tell myself the truth about what I was feeling … and why… regardless of how hard it was to hear.
I also listen really really closely to my self talk … both the internal and external.
What I realised today is that drip by drip … day by day … I was beginning to take on what I call a poverty mentality.
I could hear myself saying stuff like:-
When I get the money I’ll
I can’t do this or that because I haven’t got the money
Now … some of that is true.
And a lot has nothing to do with not having money … it has to do with the creeping inertia and exhaustion and mild depression that can descend when money is tight for over a year… and it can start to erode more than your bank account.
It can start to affect how you see yourself and your life.
If you’ve never had money issues over a sustained period of time … then you won’t know what I’m talking about.
Even with the most positive attitude in the world … you still need a certain amount of money to survive … there are bills … and clothes … and food.
So today I decided to forget work and blogs and SKIL2 and Life Dreaming.
My mission was to recreate my home and make it look abundant and clean and tidy.
And the only person that was going to do it was me … all the cleaning fairies were off on holidays.
I decided to do an easy room first (the lounge) and get a sense of quick achievement.
Then I chose the hardest room … the bathroom … and spent 3 hours scrubbing and cleaning and throwing out and recreating.
It’s now one of the loveliest rooms in the cottage.
I was having such a good time (really!) that I did the kitchen as well … and all the floors and the dishes and 2 loads of washing.
Took Coco for a long walk in a cloud of satisfaction.
My house no longer exudes a kind of sad untidiness … it is bright and alive and … me.
As soon as I realised that I had fallen slowly into a poverty mentality … I actively changed it … at a physical (my home) … and mental (my thoughts and self talk) level.
I might not have very much money … but I refuse to develop a shrinking sense of myself and my power and potential.
It’s waaaaaay too easy to fall into that trap.
It’s time for abundance.
Thanks for listening.
And … I’ve had the pleasure of minding Mags cat Patsy this week.
I go in for an hour in the morning … feed her … and then we play.
Gets repeated in the afternoon.